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Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair."Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell): "You know what my problem is? And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers, then we're sh*t out of luck."Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler): [to his golf ball] "You little son of a bitch ball! "Herman Blume (Bill Murray): "You guys have it real easy. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man."Phil Connors (Bill Murray): "This is pitiful. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. "Randolph Duke (Ralph Bellamy): "Exactly why do you think the price of pork bellies is going to keep going down, William? my wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money! They're panicking out there right now, I can feel it."Susan (Jill Eikenberry): "A real woman could stop you from drinking." Arthur (Dudley Moore): "It'd have to be a real BIG woman."President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers): "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! The central message of Buddhism is not 'Every man for himself.' And the London Underground is not a political movement. I looked them up."Ferris (Matthew Broderick): "The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Thank you."Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy): "Tell Victor that Ramon — the fella he met about a week ago? Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] "Abby Normal? [grabs Igor and starts throttling him] Is that what you're telling me? Johnson (Steve Martin): "I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're a**holes! Which means that the people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, 'Hey, we're losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the G. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! " Otto West: "Apes don't read philosophy." Wanda: "Yes they do, Otto. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in? Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] "Abby someone. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it."Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase): "We're 10 hours from the f**king fun park and you want to bail out. " Boon: "Forget it, he's rolling." Bluto: "And it ain't over now. [thinks hard of something to say] The tough get goin'! A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. " Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy): "Okay, pork belly prices have been dropping all morning, which means that everybody is waiting for it to hit rock bottom, so they can buy low. ' So they're panicking right now, they're screaming 'SELL! This is the War Room."Otto West (Kevin Kline): "Don't call me stupid." Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis): "Oh, right! But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape? It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. Frederick Frankenstein: "I will NOT be angry." Igor: "Abby someone." Dr. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days.
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The comedies that film critics have deemed the greatest in history often wrap their humor in an inventive or thought-provoking package. Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? " Ted Striker (Robert Hays): "Surely you can't be serious." Dr.