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At first, we went through periods where we would only speak English (which I didn’t like) or when we would only speak Japanese (which he didn’t like). ” “I think in general, it’s important to be very open about what you are expecting from the relationship.
Obviously we change it according to the circumstances (we are not going to speak in English to each other when out with a lot of Japanese friends! If you need a lot of hugs and affection, make sure that he knows and don’t just get annoyed that he’s not automatically doing it.
It was an interesting journey and I want to thank all of the participants for taking the time to tell us about their own unique story.
“I moved to Japan when I was 18 and have been dating Asian guys ever since. I often hear girls who long for Asian boyfriends say that Western guys are dogs, and I can confidently say that Asian men are no different.
But there’s nothing we can really do other than keep studying and keep trying.
So for that part, a significant amount of patience might be necessary.” “Another difference I noticed has to do with taking care of the household.
However, the deeper things went, the more difficult it was to understand each other.
A lot of Japanese men seem to have an inferiority complex (many of my Japanese male friends have told me this), so they might not imagine that any non-Japanese woman would ever be interested in them. ” “He was just a gaijin-hunter, so that didn’t go to well.
Those that stand true to who they are seem to be the ones who find solid relationships. What we consider common sense is very different.” “When I first started dating my husband he was embarrassed to hold hands with me in public.
In my case, for instance, men are quick to bring up the topic of bikinis and love hotels the minute I mention I’m Latina. For a long while, after the loss of someone I planned on spending my entire life with, I gave in to that stereotype and was unable to get involved in a serious relationship.” “Now, I’m in a happy relationship with an older man who doesn’t speak a lick of English or Spanish, which is my main language. For one, I’m very passionate in my way of moving and speaking, and I sometimes forget to respect personal space. This applied more in Japan than when we were in England, although now he seems completely okay with it.
I bet it’s difficult to filter the ones who are truly interested.
“There are a lot of stereotypes and some girls use them for their own personal gain.
Even after we’d been broken up for a few months he’d still write to me and ask what I was doing and how I was …” When I started dating my husband, I didn’t really feel that we had any cultural barriers.