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The excitement is on thinking about all the things they like about you.

The fear is rooted in insecurities: What if they don’t like me as much as I like them?

So from his perspective, this is a perfect situation: He still gets to be technically single but also has your ongoing exclusive commitment, sex, and companionship. So if he starts feeling pressure from you for him to get into a relationship with him, he’s going to pull back… It’s because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship…

especially if he feels some amount of insecurity about how much she’s into him.

I’ve described this kind of thing as people wearing a pretty “mask” at the beginning of a relationship and how, if you know about this, you’ll make sure to see the person behind the mask (and not mistake their pretty “mask” as who they actually are).



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