The perils of internet dating


25-May-2017 13:34

An estimated 1 in 4 relationships start in an online dating app these days, and I’d wager the percentage is higher here in San Francisco, where tech thrives and millennials abound.

Though this blog is usually about relationships in full swing and sometimes in turmoil, I’d like to spend this one talking about how to engage in finding relationship in the jungle of online dating apps.

Why not spend some time thinking about whether or not those things are racist, sexist, transphobic or ableist?

Just a thought J The next step is to select the right dating app for you! I recommend you check out these links (here, here and here) to get started familiarizing yourself with what types of sites are out there.

Try to take this awareness into online dating and be mindful of how your biases inform your dating choices.

Many people have a type, or features we are attracted to.

Try only messaging one or two people at a time if you are spending too much time on it.

Above all else, keep a barometer on how much of your self-worth is getting tied up in this thing.

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That is what I mean about having a relationship with the app.

You’ll want to both allow the fun tingly feelings of getting matches and messaging cute people, and notice them and revel in them as part of the process, but you’ll also want to set boundaries with the app, just like any partner, especially if you notice your ego is being puffed and popped in a way that is causing emotional turmoil for you.



Apr 16, 2011. The Perils of Internet Dating' is a fast paced, two-minute comedy with a surrealist twist. A guy and a girl experience the harsh, bizarre reality of online d.… continue reading »


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Jul 17, 2017. The Perils and Pleasures of Online Dating. I am old enough to remember the first bulletin board systems that came before the internet. There were crude games, geeky tech-focused chat rooms and a lot of chat rooms for flirting and looking for love. My first experiences with this were humiliating and soured.… continue reading »


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