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Even more hurtful was the night he and I were standing outside a bar in Bushwick and someone we both knew started making racist comments.

While I tried to explain to this man why what he was saying was offensive, my boyfriend stood there in silence.

They smoked weed in their parents’ houses with abandon. If they wanted me, I thought, it was because I seemed free like them.

Lately, though, I just don’t feel like answering them.Since Trump was elected, I’ve felt paradoxically alienated by white people finding or doubling down on their commitment to change.Somehow their politicization has begun to seem cartoonish, filled with performance and self-congratulation. But it wasn’t only on election night that translating experience felt so fraught.Later, I tried to convey how hurt I was that he didn’t say anything, but he didn’t seem to understand how bewildered I was.